The danger of the open sunroof

A few years ago I was driving with friends in a van with a sunroof. The sunroof was open, we heard some kind of odd thump and the girlfriend sitting in the back telling a story stopped her sentence short; gave a kind of startled noise and began to panic loudly with noises. I looked behind me at her and noticed some kind of clear and milky liquid on her face. It was running from her forehead down the side of her face, into her eye and mouth. I was really confused and asked “what’s happened?”.

She said “a bird....” and promptly started to gagging amidst her unintelligible noises - unable to talk. Turns out the thump we heard was kamikaze bird poop that hit the roof of the car, and something of the remainder had hit Alana in the face.

Renae

They say it is lucky to be pooed on by a bird

When I was of pre-school age and early into my school years I used to be looked after by a family friend while Mum and Dad were working. Lyn transferred to me her love of baking and I have fond memories of sitting in her kitchen taking in the smell of the mixing bowl, then oven.
One day Lyn and I were returning home after a trip out...to the hairdresser, the shop...I am not sure. She put on her blinker and made the turn into her driveway and gasped, making a loud utterance simultaneously. This was unusual behaviour for Lyn. Her window had been slightly down, only about ten centimetres, but nevertheless a bird, I imagine a cheeky and cunning one, managed to aim their poo directly into the small gap to splat all over Lyn's face. It was a big one. I remember the joint feelings of surprise and puzzlement (I didn't know that could happen!), disgust and a stifled amusement. Lyn wasn't impressed. Even though they say it is lucky to be pooed on by a bird, I wouldn't put this in the lucky category.

Sera Waters
(memories from Mount Gambier)